Update

Last week Jaylie did pretty good. She had a couple days of nausea but no headaches and no other symptoms really. From the beginning we were told that in the third week of radiation, more symptoms would appear and get worse. Its so true. She started her third week this week and everyday she gets worse. You can just tell that she doesn't feel good. She is a tough little girl and doesn't complain very often. I have to continually ask her how she is feeling because she won't tell me until its too late and she is already throwing up. I can usually tell when shes not feeling well though. Her hair is falling out a lot more now, especially when I brush it. She woke up this morning and had hair all over her shirt. The radiation oncologist said that by the end of this week it will be coming out in clumps. This is so hard. Yesterday Jaylie had a clip in her hair and it was falling out and she took it out and looked at it commented that her hair is falling out. She doesn't seem too bugged by it, but it is sure hard on Kip and I. It just makes it seem more real, she will look like a true cancer patient soon and it is heartbreaking. A lot of times I feel like I am in a dream still and none of this is real. The hair loss wakes me up from the dream fast. I hate it. She is also getting sicker everyday. I have to give her her anti nausea medicine before we go to radiation now, because if I don't she is quite sick afterwards and will throw up. She does pretty good with the nausea as long as she has the medicine in her. She is getting radiation on her head and spine and it causes a sunburn in those areas. Some spots on her head and behind her ears hurt a little bit and are red and she has started telling me that her back hurts. It looks like she has a slight sunburn all down her spine. It will get worse as the radiation continues. She is not eating much either. The chemo and radiation has caused a bad taste in her mouth, they say its metallic tasting, so she never really wants food or drinks. I have to try really hard to get her to eat. She will usually do breakfast pretty good, but thats it. If anyone knows Jaylie, you know this is so not like her. She loves food and loves to eat, so its weird. We are hoping she won't lose too much weight. They say if we can get her to gain 5 pounds before the real chemo rounds start that would be great. She has lost 2 pounds so far, but hopefully we will be able to figure out how to get her to eat. Dr. Brown said she needs twice the calories that a normal 5 year old needs for her body to recover properly. Hopefully she will get used to the bad taste and start eating more. She spits a lot now too because of the taste, something she has never done. Her senses are more heightened and her body is more sensitive. Hopefully she won't get feeling too much worse.

She is still doing great in radiation and being so still, it is amazing. She is so awesome. She did a lot better getting her chemo this week. Last week she freaked out and 3 of us had to hold her down while the nurse put the needle in her port. It was so sad, it was so hard not to just break down and cry. It took my everything to hold it together for her. This week was much better. They prescribed her an anti anxiety medication and it helped quite a bit. She was still scared but it was fine, much better. That was a relief for me because it had been an emotional day for me already and I knew I couldn't handle it if it were bad again. Jaylie has been in good spirits, playing with her Hello Kitty doll that comes to all the appointments with her and doing little coloring activities with my Mom (who comes to all the appointments with me, she is AMAZING!!). Jaylie laughs a lot waiting for the doctors and actually enjoys waiting alot! She is an amazing little girl and is such a great example to me. I am so honored to be her mother and to be able to teach her and raise her.

On another note, my little guy Crew (10 months old) took 9 steps yesterday! I can't believe how fast he is growing up. We are so thankful to have this little guy in our family. Our pregnancy with him was a huge surprise and I have really bad pregnancies and recoveries so I was not happy about it. A few months into the pregnancy I started getting used to the idea of a baby and was excited. Now I know why we got pregnant when we did. It was Heavenly Fathers will, He knew we needed Crew to help get through this. I am so thankful I have this little guy. He is the funniest baby ever and laughs more than any other baby I know. He is always happy and smiling and laughing. He is so cuddly and sweet to me, he loves his Mama! His laughter, smile, hugs and kisses bring me so much joy and are good therapy to me right now (I know this sounds weird but its true :) Kip agrees too). Jaylie adores Crew and loves him so much. She is so sweet with him and he is with her too. Breklyn loves Crew and is the sweetest little thing too has the cutest little voice you have ever heard. She looks up to Jaylie and wants to be just like her. I am so thankful for each of my family members and that we are all 5 in this together.