A Little Tired

We have been home for a whole week, it went by pretty fast. Jaylie is doing well and is feeling good. The last few days she has been pretty tired. She fell asleep on the couch Friday, Saturday and today. She will probably continue to feel more tired everyday. She still doesn't complain of feeling sick or bad. She has pretty much been herself, just a lower key version of herself. Her counts were the lowest that they have been throughout this whole journey so far but they were still fairly good, or good for a cancer patient they say. She didn't need a blood transfusion and we are hoping she won't need one this week when she goes in on Thursday. They said she might but we are hoping her counts will be good enough not to have to do that. She did great at her appointment this past week and was so brave getting poked. They had to put a window (clear sticky tape) on over the port to help protect it. She hates the windows so much and is so scared to pull them off. It is hard to see her so scared and to see her having anxiety and having to go through this crap. I hate it. My mom got emotional at this appointment. I don't see her get emotional too often, she is such a strong lady and I am thankful for her. Jaylie loves her coming to all the appointments, she gets so excited to see her. Jaylie really has been amazing and God is amazing. We have seen so many great things happen and have seen miracles in our lives and in Jaylies.

I saw this picture of Jaylie that my brother Scott took back around Christmas time. I have never seen it before, he just posted it on facebook. Her hair was gorgeous and her face was so full and she looked so healthy. My heart broke again seeing it. It is hard to remember the times before the brain tumor. Things are so different now, we are in a completey different world than we were back then and it kills me to think of back then and what could have been. It's just too hard, I don't do it too often because it is so hard. Needless to say I have had a really hard night. I am so thankful for prayer and for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and knows everyone in my family and who comforts us and gives us what we need to make it through this.

When your child faces cancer, let alone a rare and highly malignant brain cancer, it is more than you can bear, without Jesus. A lot of people say that God will never give you more than you can handle. I know this is more than I can handle. However, I wonder if it could mean that He will give us what we need to handle that which alone we couldn't.My sister in law gave me a little tile decoration for my house that says "The Lord will shape the back to fit the burden placed upon it". I believe this is true and that there is no way i could do this alone. I am so thankful for all of you, for all your help, prayers, support, and love. Without you guys this would be much harder. I know God put you all in our life for a reason. God is good.